ic inbox // hadriel

[knockthemdead]

❝

You've reached Kravitz. I'm attending to other business currently. Leave a message and I'll get back to you.

❞

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[pocketspa]

[There's a pang of embarrassment as Kravitz connects and everything feels better, that instinct he'll be fighting for years about being able to handle things on his own. But that was the point in texting him, wasn't it? Feeling better? Doing something about it? Not just lying here in the dark feeling like shit?

He slides his shoulder out from Barry's head, untangles his limbs, and rolls over Kravitz's direction with his knees pulled up towards his chest.]

How long was I gone? Last time I left. How many days.

[knockthemdead]

[He brushes Taako's hair back out of his face.]

Precisely a week. Short absences are not uncommon.

[It's not a promise, because that's a bad idea. Simply an observation. She could come back. He has to believe it.]

[pocketspa]

It's longer than that already.

[It's like he wants to fight, to be right about something, refute someone. But he knows it's not good to do this to Kravitz. He's probably hurting too.

He reaches up to scrub at his face.]

I'm sorry. I shouldn't have called, I'm fucking-- sorry.

[knockthemdead]

[He wouldn't hold it against Taako. She is half his heart.]

No- no. You were right to. I wish you hadn't been searching for this long without me. But I... understand why you might wish to wait before telling me.

[Kravitz shifts closer without even thinking about it, one arm settling around Taako.]

[pocketspa]

[Taako jabs at him and Kravitz' first response is that he just wishes Taako wasn't alone. Goddamnit. Why can't he just let him--

He slides closer, pressing his face into Kravitz' shoulder, right above his heart.]

You probably should've known. You like... you guys ended up as friends or whatever. This is about you too.

[He brings his hands away from his face, but they're still tucked in over his chest.]

You shouldn't have to wait for me to decide when you get to know stuff.

[knockthemdead]

[He smiles ruefully. 'Friends or whatever.' They were now, weren't they?]

I know now. Do not be so harsh on yourself. She's your sister.

[It's not a lie, either. Although he's hardly a fan of Taako keeping things from him... in this case, he can hardly be upset.]

[pocketspa]

[He barely even gets a shake of his shoulders off, like some rueful laugh.]

She's my fucking twin, dude. It's.

[He's got a thousand thoughts going through his head right now, trying to search for times they've been apart and it's been okay, but it's only ever been in the cycles when he knew she was coming back. When he could track a date and know that's when it was going to happen. It didn't fix it, but it made it better.]

It's not like I haven't been without her for longer than this before.

[He closes his eyes against his collarbone, taking a breath.]

I can like. Shove Barry over if you wanna fit in here. We can make it work.

[knockthemdead]

[Again he doesn't have the right words, something Kravitz can usually rely on himself to find, and it's so infuriating.

Maybe words aren't the most super important thing right now, though.]

I would very much like to stay with you, yes.

[pocketspa]

[Not really. Sometimes, having someone to cry against is enough.

He shuffles back, sitting up so he can take a spare pillow and push it into Barry's arms to roll him another direction. Chill there for a sec Barold, he needs the real estate. It's not a bed built for three, but seeing as Taako intends to be as curled up in Kravitz as possible, it probably won't matter.]

C'mere.

[As soon as he reaches him, Taako will settle back in to his chest, ears flat and hands grasping at Kravitz' lapels. He has to hold on to something as he fights back the tears.]

[knockthemdead]

[Barry hardly seems the type to mind some cramped sleeping space. Particularly not, Kravitz has to imagine, at this moment in time. It's surely the last of his worries.

He moves into Taako's space the moment his boyfriend affirms that it's what he wants; hands soothing and presses kisses to the top of his head in the hope that comfort is the one thing he can offer right now. He isn't sure what else he could possibly do. Nothing will make this right.]

[pocketspa]

[Who gives a shit about Barry right now, frankly, as far as Taako's concerned. Kravitz does everything right, and when he wakes up he'll have time to deal with that. Right now, he just tucks himself in small, head into the crook of Kravitz' neck, hands grasping at his chest with his knees tucked in. He knows he's a wreck right now, and he's out of words to say as much.

So for once, in the knowledge that Kravitz has seen him at his worst before, he just lets himself fall apart, shaking and crying into the other man's chest until hopefully, he falls asleep.]

[knockthemdead]

[Kravitz doesn't sleep.

Not because he can't make himself, because he could- but because he doesn't want Taako to wake up at any point to face this by himself. Or have a nightmare, one that Kravitz isn't there to wake him from. Or decide in the middle of the night to leave, alone, and do something reckless. Or-

He sighs in frustration, tears building in his eyes and sliding sideways down onto the pillow, some landing in Taako's hair. How many losses do they need to endure? It feels so needlessly cruel.

Kravitz holds onto Taako, and he waits for the morning.]